A house maid and a general servant are to broadcast from a London wireless station giving their opinion of mistresses. - Cable
So I sez to 'er, "Followers? Certainly not!
Why should you suspect I 'ad somebody 'ere?"
An' me notice I give to 'er there on the spot.
'Er torkin' to me! Why the very idear!
"An' I dunno where yesterday's mutton 'as gone."
I sez to 'er: "Nor -- wot is more -- do I care."
'Er torking to me of such carryin's on!
An' that's ow it 'appened I 'ad to leave there.
The next one, I sez to 'er, "Breakages? Wot?
Why the rotten ole thing came apart in me 'and!"
(An' me notice I give to 'er there on the spot.)
"An' I never," I sez to 'er, "could understand
The common ole crockery some people keep."
I sez to 'er, 'aughty, me nose in the air,
"It's wot I ain't used to, nor 'ouses so cheap."
An' that's ow it 'appened I 'ad to leave there.
An' the next an' the next, an' the one after that,
An' the next an' the next an' the next;
An' the next an' the next was a crank or a cat,
Or something or other to make a girl vexed.
An' one who could gabble on end for a week,
Took reel mean advantage when I paused for air;
An' she gave me my notice before I could speak,
An' that's 'ow it 'appened I 'ad to leave there.
They're all of a pattern; an' I've knowed a lot,
For misuses alwiz is misuses still.
Lest you up an' give notice right smart on the spot,
They'll put it upon you, the best of 'em will.
Glory be! I ain't one to go startin' a row;
But all of 'em's touchy an' few of 'em's fair.
But I know wot I'll say to the one I got now,
When it 'append, as will, that I 'ave to leave there.
First published in The Herald, 11 January 1930
Author reference sites: C.J. Dennis, Austlit, Australian Dictionary of Biography, Australian Poetry Library
See also.
