"A piece of turkey gobbler here, a half a chicken there,
Plum-duff an' pies an' things, scraps o' Christmas fare --
Most folks has some oddments they're loth to pitch away
When they are fed an' satisfied," said Ole Pete Parraday.
"An' then, quite accidental like, I happens at the door
When folks is fine an' generous just as the feast is o'er.
'Why, here's a bit o' luck,' they says, delighted.  'Here's ole Pete.
An' jist in time to help us out from wastin' things to eat.'

"Not that I wants for dinner of a Christmas time each year,
The way the neighbours presses me an' fights for me round here.
But I can't play no fav'rites; it's turn an' turn about;
For if I dined with Robertsons when it's the Johnsons' shout
Why, I'd never hear the end of it.  But when I've ate me fill
I calls on all the neighbours as a matter of goodwill
Just to wish 'em 'Merry Christmas' an' treat 'em all the same.
An' if they presses things on me, well, how am I to blame?

"I reckon when the holid'ys is pretty nearly thro'
My larder's jist about as full an' jist as varied, too,
As any in the districk - stuff to make yeh lick yer chops.
Not bad for one ole pensioner wot don't spend much in shops.
Fancy sortser tucker, too, soothin' to the taste --
Not that I'm greedy, mind yeh; but I hates to see things waste;
I hates to see things throwed away wot easily might be
Meals from the lap o' luxury for my ole dog an' me.

"Not that I holds with beggin' mind, as you knows very well,
But if you seen my hut this week you'd think the Grand 'Otel
Or else the Caffy Parry was shifted to the scrub,
Half ways a slap-up resterong an' half a toney pub;
With chicken laigs an' turkey wings an' cake, got up reel fine,
An' a bottle, that ain't opened yet, of reel sherry wine!
But I puts it on the table every time I has a meal;
An' it's near as good as drinkin' it, the way it makes me feel."

"Den"
Herald, 28 December 1935, p4