Mr. "Gadfly" - Being clever on my mother's side, energetic on my father's side, and having inherited an enormous amount of genius from a great-uncle, I generally have some very good schemes for the improvement of mankind up my sleeve. Just now I am thinking out new ways for the Ballyrot elocutionists and South Street singers to have their photographs taken. No elocutionist should be allowed to pose with his legs crossed and his hands resting on a flower pot unless he has taken at least a second prize. Only first prize winner shsould be permitted to rest their chins on their hands. This list, I venture to remark, would be found useful:-

Champion Oration:- Standing in a defiant attitude, a roll of waste paper in one hand held extended over head, the other hand firmly grasping the back of a chair. Hair ruffled, eyes blazing.

Humorous Recital:- Seated on a wooden horse, sailor hat with ribbons, smile from ten to twelve inches.

Champion Elocutionist:- Standing upon head with certificate of merit firmly tied to one boot. Head resting on twelve thousand volumes of "Parrhasius."

Ladies' Singing (open):- Standing, with a copy of "Weep not for me" or "Sob on, dear love" clutched in hand, engagement ring (if any) facing oprator. One elbow gracefully resting against a bar of music.

It has taken me some years of study to perfect these poses, and I should be glad if you could arrange to have the list printed and distributed gratis. - Yours in the Good Work.

"Irish"
The Gadfly, 21 February 1906, p24