The Punter and the Gee-Gee.

A Sporting Man once wagered a Great Deal of Money on a certain Racehorse, expecting it to Win, as it was reputed to be a Good Thing, and he had been given the Straight Tip. But the race was won by Another Horse, which was a Rank Outsider; and the Sporting Man, going to the Horse he had Backed, spoke angrily: "Why," asked the man, indignantly, "did you not Win the Race?" The Horse regarded him in astonishment for a while, and then replied: "Don't be silly. What had I to do with it?"

Moral. - Investigate before you make charges.

The Politician and the Mosquito.

A Certain Politician was once attacked savagely by a persistent Mosquito that would not be driven away. After Many attempts to discourage the Insect the Politician became Angry and exclaimed: "Go away, or I shall introduce an Act to Suppress you. I am a Politician." The Mosquito instantly Desisted, and replied: "Thank you; I have had a narrow Escape."

Moral. - Be careful what you eat.

The Pressman and the Elephant.

A Reporter once went to interview an Elephant. "Do you," asked the Reporter, "believe in the Power of the Press?" The Elephant, placing his Forefoot on the Reporter's chest, stood on him, and replied: "Don't you?"

Moral. - Beware of practical illustrations.

The Tramhorse and the Passenger.

A tender-hearted Passenger once stood on the Front of a Car and Sympathized with the Tramhorse. "My poor Horse," he said, "you look tired and weak. It is a shame to make you pull this Heavy Load." Whereat the Horse, looking wearily over his shoulder, replied: "Well, why don't you get off and walk?"

Moral. - True sympathy is always practical.

The Physician and the Microbe.

A Physician, who was every Young at the Game, at one time met a Brand-new Microbe. "How do you do, brother?" said the Microbe, and was about to Shake Hands, when the Physician stabbed it with his Lancet in a Vital Part. "Fool!" gasped the Microbe with his Dying Breath. "I could have Made your Fortune." And with those words he expired.

Moral. - Very small geese sometimes lay large golden eggs.

The Jud and the Sin.

A certain Moral Reformer was once walking in the Street when he met a Deadly Sin, that he had known Intimately in his Youth. "Ah," stammered the Reformer: "I think we have met Before." "No," replied the Deadly Sin, which was anxious to secure patronage. "You are Mistaken. We have not." And the Reformer passed on, feeling Good.

Moral. - It is a wise Sin that disowns its own father.

The Cook and the Sausage.

A Cook who was about to Fry a Sausage noticed that the creature appeared Pale and Distressed. "Are you in trouble?" enquired the sympathetic Cook. "Yes," replied the sausage. "I have been trying for a long time to Analyze my Character, but without Success, and it has made me Very Ill."

Moral. - Excessive introspection is unhealthy in certain circumstances.

The Pedantic Rooster and the Wise Hen.

"Never," said the Pedantuic Rooster, impressively - "never Count your Chicken before they are Hatched." "No," replied the Experienced Hen, with memories of Former Impositions; "they might be ducks."

Moral. - Expect ducks.

"C.J.D."
The Gadfly, 23 October 1907, p1513