I do not want the universe;
   I yearn not for the farthrest star;
No foolish longing do I nurse
   To own the whole of things that are.
I do not seek -- it would be rash --
   All wealth that on this earth abounds;
I only want -- in solid cash --
   A modest ninety million pounds!

I don't desire to be a king,
   Or e'en a dukelet, or a lord;
Nor seek to make the welkin ring.
   (The welkin makes me very bored.)
O'er such affairs I make no moan;
   Mere idle, empty longings these.
I want to be just left alone
   To do exactly as I please.

I am no Mormam, nor a Turk;
   Nor envy such, I must confess.
No strong desires within me lurk
   A giddy harem to possess.
'Twould set my senses in a whirl
   And my desires within a maze;
I only want one pliant girl,
   With beauty, wit, and winning ways.

No glutton, I but seek to live,
   And, minus indigestive kink,
Have of the best the earth can give
   As much as I can eat and drink.
Then, having these, and this beside --
   Immunity from all distress --
If you should ask, "Art satisfied?"
   I'd probably reply, "M -- yes."

"C.J.D."
The Gadfly, 12 December 1906