Sesabit, K.C. (for the prosecution) "I am a K.C." Omnes -- "He is a K.C." Sesabit -- "I am a K.C." Angerson (for the defence) -- "Ha, ha, he, he." Usher -- "Silent be, silent be!" Sesabit -- "In opening my case, sir, the court may it please" -- Angerson -- "You could open an oyster with far greater ease." The Bench -- "Nay, nay; don't be personal, gentlemen, please." Omnes -- "Please, please." Sesabit (to Angerson) -- "Oh, what a gentleman you are!" Angerson -- "He, he, he, ha, ha, ha." The Bench -- "Nay, this is going far too far." Angerson -- "Your client, sir's, a perfect beauty." The Bench -- "Tut, learned sir, you know your duty." Sesabit -- "You've got no monopoly of beauty." Angerson -- "I wish you'd shut" -- The Bench -- "Tut, tut, tut, tut" Sesabit -- "You are garrulous, jabbering, mumbling, you are!" Angerson -- "What a wonder at technical stumbling you are!" Sesabit -- "That statement's an infamous falsehood, sir, bah!" Angerson -- "Ha, ha!" Sesabit -- "Bah, bah!" Angerson -- "Your intellect's dim." Sesabit -- "Witty Jim, witty Jim!" The Bench -- "Now, gentlemen, I must insist; You really must, you must desist." Omnes -- "You must desist, you must desist." Angerson -- "You will be hissed!" Sesabit -- "You see my fist?" Usher -- "Hist, hist!" (Here follow various arias, soli and recitatives.) Later: -- Sesabit -- "My previous statements I wish to withdraw." Angerson -- "You're the cleverest counsel that I ever saw." The Bench -- "Your previous statement shall duly be quashed, sir." Angerson -- "Your statement is quashed, sir." Omnes (admiringly) -- "Oh, ain't he a boshter." Sesabit -- "I love you like a long-lost brother." Angerson (beaming) -- "You are my friend; I've no such other." Sesabit -- "Our little diff'rences we'll sink." Angerson -- "Did I see you wink?" Sesabit -- "Maybe, I think." Angerson -- "Come, have a drink." Sesabit (soaring to top note) -- "A drink! A drink!." Bench, Counsel, Ushers, Witnesses, and Others -- "Now let the joyful bells ring out, The learned counsel's going to shout; Let peace and gladness fill the air, Fat fees and clients everywhere. As it was in the beginning, it is now, and ever shall be; litigation without end. Ah-h-men.
"Den"
The Gadfly, 21 March 1906, p9