[Caruso, the tenor, has been fined ten dollars for pinching a woman's arm in the monkey's cage at New York Zoo. - Cable]

The monkey grinned as a monkey will,
   The lady gazed on the monkey's charm;
In crept the tenor when all was still,
   And quitely pinched the lady's arm. 

Then the lady took hysterics,
   And the monkey took a fit,
And a copper came and took a look
   Around him for a bit.
Then the copper took Caruso,
   And led him off to gaol,
And Caruso took a top note,
   And turned very, very pale.

They took him to a magistrate,
   Who took the case, and then
He said 'twas most extremely grave,
   And fined him dollars ten,
Caruso took exception, and
   Declared it wasn't true,
And took it to a higher Court
   Which took a sim'lar view.

Then Caruso took to swearing,
   The reporters took a note,
The cable took on spasms,
   And flashed around the anecdote,
And all the world upended and cried out, "Oh, my!
   Who would have thought a tenor was so very, very sly."

"T. O'Ruddy"
The Gadfly, 2 January 1907, p909