Works in the Bulletin 1912
TERRIBLE BILL

His persistent inaction during his tenure of office, now extending to nearly three years, only twnds to strengthen the belief that the party does not desire to suppress or limit the operations of the trusts and combines. It wishes to preserve them as the theme for excited rhetoric. - Argus, on Attorney-General Hughes.
The only possible course for the elctors who do not wish to give an unrestricted charter to those who would unify and socialise the government of Australia is to vote No to each and all of the party's proposals for the suppression or limitation of trusts and combines. Same Argus, same leader.

'E's a terrible bloke is this Hughes, Bill Hughes;
   You can tell by the glint of 'is eye.
O lor, 'e's a savage!  'E'll plunder an' ravage
   An' knock lor-an'-order sky-high.
Ho, 'e kicks up a dust when 'e goes for the Trust,
   While the people ejaculate "My!"
But there isn't no 'arm in ole Hughes, Bill Hughes -
   If yer listen I'll tell yer for why.

Though you'd think be the look of this Hughes, Bill Hughes, That 'e'd eat the monopolist band, It's only 'is gammon; he's really a-shammin'; 'E'd let 'em eat out of 'is 'and; 'E'd let 'em lie down be 'is side, though 'is frown When 'e torks is a terrible sight; But if they was slaughtered be Hughes, Bill Hughes, Why, 'e wouldn't have nothink to fight!
But still 'e's a terror is Hughes, Bill Hughes, An' 'e looks sich a vierlent bloke; 'Is Socialist notions is raisin' commotions 'Mid all of us right-thinkin' folk. When 'e starts fer to rouse on our friends in the 'Ouse, Oh, you take it from me, 'e's a sight, An' the things that 'e says to 'em - Hughes, Bill Hughes - Well, I tell yer, 'e isn't perlite.
But you needn't be frightened of Hughes, Bill Hughes, Fer 'e doesn't mean 'arf wot 'e says. All 'is glarin' an' starin' an' blazin' an' blarin', They're only 'is quaint little ways. Why, 'e'd not 'urt a mouse, an' 'is tork in the 'Ouse It is jest wot 'e does cos 'e must. Them Combines ain't frightened of Hughes, Bill Hughes, An' 'e'd never do 'arm to a Trust.
But still 'e's a puzzle is Hughes, Bill Hughes, To a Tory like me or like you. With 'is plottin' an' schemin' an' darin' and dreamin', You never know wot 'e might do. So it's plain that you must, if you cherish the Trust, Vote a "No" to all six of 'is schemes. For I ain't very certain of Hughes, Bill Hughes; An' he mightn't be quite wot 'e seems.

"Den"
The Bulletin, 19 December 1912, p18

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2002-03