When your dose is code as barble,
   Ad you sduffle all the day,
Ad your head id is behavig
   Id a bost unbleased way;
When your ev'ry joid is achig
   With a very paidful cramb,
When your throat is dry ad tiglish,
   Ad your feed are coe and damb;
When your eyes are red ad rudding
   With the dears that will cub oud;
You cad safely bake your bind ub
   There is very liddle doubd.

You've got a code -- a code --
   Ad idfluedzal code;
You cahd tell how you coughd id,
   But id's a got a good firb hode.
Your face is whide, your eyes are pigk,
   Your doe is red ad blue;
Ad you wish that you were -
   Ah --
      Ah --
         Ah -- h --
               Kish -- SHOO-O-O!!

I dode wad to be a boed,
  Ad I do nod log for fabe,
But I have to wride to get by bread
   Ad budder, all the sabe.
id is very aggravadig,
   Ad this world is very hard
Whed the idfluenza fasteds
   Od a sendadendal bard.
Oh, I caddod sig of subber skies!
   I caddod twag by lyre!
For all the buses id the world
   Are powerless to idspire.

I've got a code -- a code --
   A bost udpleased code;
I caddod sig a sog of sprig,
   I caddod bake ad ode.
For inspirashud will nod cub:
   I'be feelig very blue;
Oh, would that I was -- 
   Ah --
      Ah --
         Ah -- h --
               Kish -- SHOO-O-O!!

I have to wride adother verse,
   Ad dode doe whad to say;
But I've got to buy some bedicid
   To drive this code away;
Oh, the boed's is a hard, hard life,
   His lod is very sore;
Ad if misfortude cubs to hib,
   He has to toil the bore.
And dow, I thig I've bade enough.
   By wridig this last verse,
To go ad buy byself sub stuff
   Before by code gets worse.

I've got a code -- a code --
   Ad agravatig code!
If I was well I'd wride you such
   A charbig liddle ode.
I'd sig of labkins od the sward,
   Bedeath the skies so blue,
If it wasn'd for the --
   Ah --
      Ah --
         Ah -- h --
               Kish -- SHOO-O-O!!

"Ded"
The Gadfly, 19 June 1907